Practicing Emotional Resilience
Practicing Emotional Resilience
These are not new ideas. These are simply one compilation of recommendations for meeting universal human challenges. There is no best one-size-fits-all program, religion, or philosophy. Find what resonates with you, at this time. The principles are listed in order of somewhat a natural progression. For example, you’ll be less effective in creating relationships and serving a cause if you haven’t started practicing the first eight principles. Similarly, you might be worse off adopting attitudes of acceptance, humility, and gratitude if you haven’t first set boundaries to keep others from taking advantage of these traits. Honesty is foundational, because it is required in order to set boundaries and to admit when the other principles have been neglected.
Integrity means actions are in line with beliefs and commitments. This means having courage when honesty requires non-conformity. AA’s “fearless moral inventory” = shadow work. You can’t be truly honest with others unless you’re first honest with yourself.
Slow down the busyness. Learn to say no. Block out news and negativity (i.e., avoid propaganda of both red flavor and blue flavor). When you set clear boundaries and maintain them, you will have time and bandwidth to let in the good and necessary. Essentialism.
This means not trying to escape from uncomfortable feelings or truths. It means facing reality. Accept even your non-acceptance. Acknowledge your anger or fear with curiosity, rather than trying to escape the feelings thru acting out. This means not resisting what is rather than thinking we can only be happy or peaceful if we set up our circumstances to be a certain way (see Eckhart Tolle). Accept change. Accept what is unpleasant, rather than fight it. This does not mean take no action or say “anything goes.” It helps to take a productive proactive stance, not reactive. Allow others to be and do what they choose to (not controlling).
Question your ego’s agendas. Consider the role of whatever higher power may exist, even if that is a collective or all of nature. You don’t know for sure what’s best, not even for you. Observing our limitations, including having finite time, helps us choose wisely. It helps us stop learning everything the hard way. Surrender your sureness. See Byron Katie’s The Work.
Let go of resentments thru humility, recognizing that we can’t see the whole picture. Notice and be mindful for whatever good or beauty is in your life. See Brene Brown’s Ten Guideposts for Wholehearted Living. It’s not so much about thanking people. It’s about refusing to see yourself as a victim, refusing to see life as oppressing you, but rather seeing possibilities and focusing on the good, true, and beautiful even if that seems to be a small pinprick of light.
Moderate your extremes. See a bigger picture where there is room for multiple perspectives, even paradox. See this site’s blog post “The grind versus stillness.”
Attend to your basic health and basic needs. See this site’s Dimensions of Wellness.
Seek daily inspiration, intuition, and guidance. It’s easy to get bogged down by responsibilities and contention. We need reminders to be our best selves.
Meaningful conversation & support. Love. Not seeking control. Not criticizing. See Shefali Tsabary’s work on parenting. See Enspiral’s collaborative work.
Find work that leaves your community or the world better. Serve with the highest talents and capacities you have. See Carol Sanford’s regenerative level of work.